The Wondrous Shadow

I crest the top of the world

The sky a twinkling black

The ground below me sans light

The universe a mess of stars

Scattered below me and above.

A flight I’ve taken a thousand times

The amazement - now mundane

And here as I stare out my looking glass

I feel the wonder once again

The darkness vast, edge-to-edge

The light a humble glow

A shooting star races past above

And silence reigns below

Horizon ablaze with a midnight sun

Whose position I cannot fathom

The silver lining of this shadow land

And by mourning all undone.

Here and there a fire glows,

Galaxies spiraling out,

The northern lights beyond my sight

Their beauty without doubt

A new journey awaits me

New sights I haven’t seen

For all my delays and mishaps

On this flight I’m glad I’ve been

Disclaimer

After this post, the following are new as of February 11th 2015.

Though the Eyes of a Sociopath

January 2014

Power.
Power.
Power.
How I crave after it. How I desire it. How I lust for it.
Power over what?
Power over something.
Power over anything.
Power over EVERYTHING.
The power over life and death, to be able too look into the eyes of a man, look into them. And take life from them. To see it leave their eyes. The light in their eyes, I want the power to turn their eyes dark.
I want to be invincible. To stare at death in the face, and laugh.
I want to be immortal. To live for eons on end, never aging, never weakening. Only gaining power
The power of destruction. To destroy entire cities with a thought. To hold countries ransom to my whims.
Pure power.
No responsibility.
Absolute. Power

Acceptance

December 2013

What has always amazed me is mans ability to accept his fate. 

Man is a creature who struggles, fights, claws and kills to survive and get through or over an obstacle. Yet whenever you know your fate is inevitable; whether you're dying, failing a test, or just facing the music for something, you tend to accept it.
We're all unique, so the time for us to accept that eventuality varies. But unless we drop dead before the acceptance kicks in... We usually do accept our fate. And accept it with grace.
Because man, above all, is proud. We do not want to accept something by force. We want to be the ones who saw the truth of it, and calmly accepted it.
Many people who have terminal diseases are quite calm, and collected. Serenity is their friend. Once man has made peace with his fate, his instinctive drive to fight it, regardless of the odds, falls away.
The fight or flight mechanism is superseded by the acceptance of the truth. 
This is not to be confused with hopelessness or depression. In those cases, man is overcome with negative feelings and emotions. They don't accept their fate, they give up. And that is another issue altogether.
The real... Well not "issue" so much as topic(?) Is how I find it amazing how man can go from panicked, stressed, upset, frantic etc to a state in which they are unconcerned. Their heart rate is low, their mind is calm. They aren't effected by it anymore. And I've seen this change take place in under a minute and it both confuses and fascinates me.
What an amazing coping mechanism isn't it? To be able to detach yourself from that situation and to consciously or unconsciously decide that it does not bother you anymore.
There have had to have been at least a dozen instances in our lives where we were on the verge of panic, when suddenly... We didn't care anymore. And BOOM, we have accepted it.

"Into the Valley of Death,
  Rode the six hundred"

Acceptance. A wonder in itself...

Darkness

December 2013

This is not the most well written piece, but it occurred to me last night.
I figured out why man is afraid of the dark.
As a child, its because the dark holds our nightmares, unknown monsters, scary things. And we want to be safe and warm and protected.
But as an adult, the entire dynamic changes. The monster is within.
As we get older, we change a lot. We lie a lot. We hide from our fears and hide from our own harsh truths. 
During the day, we're under the massive spotlight of the sun, we throw up walls to prevent our weaknesses and fears from being exposed to those around us.
But when the sun goes down, and under the cover of darkness, the walls fall. And our inner demons come out. We can't stop it, we stop lying to people and to ourselves. I have noticed other people admit to things they denied all day at 1 in the morning, 2 in the morning. 
People genuinely are more honest at night. I know I am.
I thought of something,
"The sun makes us narrow our eyes in suspicion, the moon makes us open them to take in the world"
Makes sense doesn't it?
People commit terrible crimes at night. Unassuming, normal, good people will turn into monsters at night... A type of lycanthropy...
And the worst part of it is waking up the next DAY, under the burning gaze of the sun, and having to face what you have done. Maybe not externally, but an internal realization and the shame you feel at having given in to your weakness.
We all live in hypocrisy of some kind. Whether or not we'd like to admit it.

Try this, if you're reading this in the day, and you feel like I'm spouting nonsense, read this again at night. When everything is quiet, nobody around, just you alone in the dark. I guarantee you'll see things differently.


I think that the true test of character is darkness.
Only in the dark, where nobody can see us, do we allow ourselves to take off the mask we wear all day.

That's why man is afraid of the dark, why he prefers the light. Because man fears what lies deep inside him, what bubbles just beneath the surface. Man fears letting his demons out, because man fears what his true nature might be.

As is turns out, man doesn't fear the dark, man fears himself.

My Blog

November 2013

I don't really know why this occurred to me. Maybe it was because i had gone 27 hours without sleep, and my mind was so frazzled and frayed that my imagination just started to rapid fire. I woke up after an hour of sleep with this in my head. I felt it was referring to my blog...

As you wander through the realm,

The temple of my mind,

Let me know what you seek, 

And what you hope to find.

The universe inside my head,

Is made for you to see.

It cannot be contained by I,

So I have set it free.

When you walk my hallowed halls,

And look into my dreams,

It might become clear to you,

All is not as it seems.

I don't know why, but it perfectly portrays the way I think my blog is to you.

The wonders of the subconscious mind...

 

The Phoenix Strikes

November 2013

I have been burnt by The Phoenix.

Stings it does,throughout time
And though the wound will heal
I will not ever play with fire
The pain is much too real

The Phoenix burns bright as day
And has a tongue of ice
You may not want to move away
But I warn you, to think twice

For The Phoenix is not for you or I
To mock as we see fit
She burns you with a holy fire
And into the sun does flit.

The Cold Heart of Man

November 2013

Winter is upon us
And the wind begins to bite
Justice soon will hibernate
And evil, will alight.

How can you prepare for it?
Avoid the freezing cold?
Try, try and fall.
Malice will unfold.

Absolute the cold shall be
Horrors of the snow
Many will still hide away 
Or deny that they know

Oh,how we will turn away
Denying the honest word
Forever moving towards the past
Yet yearning to go forward.

Man is a twisted creature.

The Phoenix Rises

November 2013

Now and then when I look back
Examining the truth
How I find I've strayed so far
Except in helping you.

Life has treated, me quite rough
Should I bend the knee?
Hear yourself! I am not weak!
Always, I return to thee!

Hell is gone, its fire lost
I, the Phoenix RISE!
Death upon you mortals
Bow, I hear your cries!

Absolute my power is,
Never again, I fall!
Do you question what I say?
Universe! Hear my call!

Know that I am born anew
Do you not tremble in fear?

All beware, I have returned
Forever though I am changed
You who have seen me burn,
Know that I am ablaze.

Forgive Us

October 2013

When the wind is blowing
And I stand beneath the sky
Just breathing in the air
And wistfully I sigh.

How the world has treated us
And how we treated her
The irony is not lost
My vision starts to blur

Absolute, the power is
How far we will go
Many we have pushed back down
Onwards we will go.

Oh lord above, forgive us.
Do not smite us down.
For we are man, a fickle creature.
You created us so.

My my, how we have fallen.

For Shame

October 2013

Sun above, it shines on me,
How warm, the golden light,
And the heat upon my brow,
Never before, so nice.

Zoos are curious places,
Each is quite the same
All the time we wonder
Should we be treated the same?

How can we be living?
Are we not ashamed?
Is it not horrendous?
Freedom, yet in a cage.

You, forever free.
Knowing they are knot.

Losing to Love

October 2013

Looking at the way I live,
The way I live my life.
I find that since I met you,
You cut me like a knife.

I find that you have hurt me,
And I find that you dont care.
But every night when i fall asleep,
I feel that it's not fair.

Standing out and looking in,
I dont know what to say.
You ruin my every night,
And make my every day.

How could I fall like this?
How could you do this to me?
In my heart I beg of you,
To forever set me free.

But the thought of leaving you,
And not seeing you each morn,
It does me pain beyond compare,
My heart, it feels is torn.

But how am I to live this life
A life of looking in?
Though I remember, everytime
Every time you grin.

It breaks my heart, it feeds my soul,
Seeing you each day.
But after all this time with you,
I can only say;

"I thought i'd win, I thought i could.
For a time, it was true.
But I have lost, lost the war.
I am lost to loving you."

Hollywood's "Insanity"

October 2013

Today I feel like exploring the realms of Hollywood Insanity.
What is Insanity? It has many names, madness, crazy, nuts, unhinged. But the correct term is 'Psychotic'.
Many people think of insanity  as a very fascinating and interesting phenomenon. It means to be like 'The Joker' or 'Hannibal Lecter' or any other villain in a stereotypical Good vs. Evil film.
But we confuse insanity, or rather psychosis, with someone who is a 'psychopath' or a 'Sociopath'. But being a psychopath or a sociopath does mean you're 'insane'.
What you must understand is, this topic is very, very expansive. And I am armed only with a rudimentary knowledge of these topics. But I hope it will come across as a coherent, clear and cohesive article (if we can call it that).
So, first of all, a sociopath is someone who hates society, someone who can be classified as an introvert, antisocial, hostile, and unresponsive to any extension of a friendly hand. This type of person is not violent, unless he is an extreme case of a sociopath, where he seeks to deliberately harm society.
A psychopath is someone who can be described quite succinctly as 'morally insane'. The psychopath is someone who has no conscience, who has no moral compass, who can not see the difference between right and wrong. And so, to achieve anything, the psychopath is willing to go to any lengths, do anything. A psychopath is someone who is very charming, charismatic, and has what people may refer to as 'magnetism', meaning that people are drawn to that person. Now, that does not mean a psychopath is every person who has a very large social circle. No, a psychopath is someone who can and will manipulate you to achieve whatever he has his eyes set on. They can turn on you in an instant, and will be brutal in their revenge. This may not be a physical violence, it may be a social alienation. A psychopath maintains all of his ability to think, plan, and act. He can be a functioning member of society, but he has no sense of morality. (It must be noted, that nobody can be labelled a Psychopath until the age of 18, displaying any... symptoms (?) before that age can only earn you the label of having 'psychopathic tendencies'. Interesting is it not?)
But then, if this is not true insanity, why is it depicted as such by Hollywood? Its because the TRUE insanity, doesn't inspire a Hero. It inspires pity. 
Insanity is a debilitating disease. It eats away at the MIND of a person, until he is nothing but a shell, memories, abilities, skills, all gone. And it is impossible to cure. Imagine a Batman movie where The Joker was INSANE instead of a psychopath; does it seem interesting now? Or sad? What about Lex Luthor? If he were INSANE, would Superman want for him to die?
See, in the course of the last few decades, the real meaning of words have been warped by Hollywood, just so that it makes a better movie/TV show. 

Through the Eyes of a Psychopath

Originally posted October 2013

Fire.
Beautiful isn't it? Dancing flickering flames, mesmerizing in their motions. 
Both life, death, power, judgment, and an uncontrollable force.
Watching it consume something, absorb its life into itself to continue its existence... Beautiful.
That power is so desirable;
I hunger for it. 
I crave it. 
I want to possess it. 
I want to use it.
To consume whoever I want utterly, completely, till their existence has been wiped from the history of mankind. 
To with a single glance, set ablaze the world and just watch it burn. 
Hear the screams. 
And just watch.

Introduction

Originally Posted on October 2013

Well, this is my 3rd attempt at a blog. And for once, I may have found a way to keep it alive.
Prepare yourself for one of the most egotistical and self flattering introductions ever. 
To be blunt, I have a brilliant mind. And my imagination exceeds the norm. Sadly, I am no longer able to pen down my creativity in school and be awarded the laurels of the fantastic reactions of my classmates. So, I find myself accruing a rapid backup of creativity which manifests into physical symptoms of fractured focus, headaches and massive boredom with day to day life.
The only, well I hesitate to say 'cure', but the only way to alleviate these issues is to churn out some form of writing, be it poetry, a story, a description, or even my thoughts at that moment. But hubris requires for me to be lauded and applauded by people. So, embracing this age, past the notebooks which housed my earlier creations, I have decided to maintain this blog. And seeing as it shall be about whatever goes on in my head, whatever takes my fancy, the name is quite apt.
The Runaway Monologue.
I do not know when I will be updating this blog, but hopefully you shall see something new once every 2 weeks, or even a large release in one week.
I dont know, my mind is a fickle thing...

Disclaimer

My blog already existed but I lost access to it along with my old Gmail Account. The following posts are all the posts I originally posted there.